You can’t keep it unless you give it away!

You can’t keep it unless you give it away!

When it comes to love, happiness, knowledge, truth, honor, honesty, and passion, you can’t keep it unless you give it away. I am sure I could come up with a few hundred more word examples but I am running with these!

What is in it that we have to give away and what are we keeping when we give it away?

The “it “in the giving away part is service.

The “it” in the keeping part is humility.

Why should I give away service to gain humility and what do I gain from keeping humility? Sounds like a losing deal and boring thing to do!

Here is the payoff.  When we are of service to others, we are giving our energies, efforts, and time with proper motives and efforts. This act of giving service is biblical and pleases God who in turn rewards our actions and efforts.

Philippians 2:3 “Don't act out of selfish ambition or be conceited. Instead, humbly think of others as being better than yourselves”.

OK, so the heart of a servant of the Lord is a humble heart. In serving others for the right reasons we are gaining precious humility.

 “…for everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled, but he who humbles himself shall be exalted." Luke 18:14

When we gain humility, we gain perspective into what our true path is on this Earth. Remember, as God’s kids we are no longer human beings seeking spiritual experiences. We are now spiritual beings encountering human experiences and humility helps us to make the right choices. Our motives move from constantly seeking “what’s in it for me” to be in alignment with our efforts to see what we can bring to others in the form of service. Being freed from the chains of selfishness we are able to follow a path that leads to happiness, joy, freedom, and fulfillment. Our very lives depend upon this change of motivation. While we are in the grip of selfishness we are dead to the Spirit. Our work helping others brings our faith to life so that we may truly live.

“Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.” Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous page 84

Stinking Thinking!

Negative thoughts can lead to anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Negative thinking can affect your relationships, business dealings and even your overall health. However, by admitting we are victims of negative thinking, we can learn to replace our negative thoughts with positive ones, we can begin to transform our state of mind, our outlook, and when these positive thoughts lead to positive actions, our life changes.

So how do we replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts? This past year as I lost my excessive weight, I learned that the food I eat can determine my level of health. Likewise the thoughts I think can determine my mental health.  When I identify and remove those toxic negative thoughts from my mind and by replacing them with positive thoughts,  I begin to create a  create a healthy mindset that nurtures  my confidence and releases my fears and resentments

 Here are some points to look at this week.  They can help you to begin the process of replacing negative  thoughts with positive thoughts.

1. Examine Your Thoughts
   Most of the time, we are not aware of the thoughts we think in the moment. Those of you that are close to me have heard me talk about not turning a bad moment into a bad day.  Try this Every time I begin to feel negatively about a person, place, thing, or situation,  I make myself stop  and recognize the negative thought that brought me to that feeling.
2. Question Negative Thoughts
   Please refuse to accept negative thoughts as truth. I ask myself why I feel this way and ask God to help me change my thinking.  I have found that most often they are based more from fear, resentment, past hurts, and or the famous “worst-case scenario” thinking.
3. Don’t turn a bad moment into a bad day!
   When I catch myself thinking negatively, I have to stay away from my old enemy rationalization. I have learned over the years that negative thoughts will never benefit me.  If I struggle to release the negative thought, I ask God to re direct my thinking by forcing myself to focus on helping someone else for the moment. This is not fun at times, but it really works!
4. Am I my own worst enemy?
   Thanks to God and AA I no longer suffer from stinking thinking like I used to, but if I find my thoughts becoming negative and self centered with a whopper like, “I’ll never amount to anything,” I replace it with, “I have already become someone special! I am a good husband, father and friend.”

Dear friends, I don’t have the answers, but I do have the personal experiences that have helped me to grow and change.

"Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code."                                                                                            Alcoholics Anonymous,
 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 84

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear . . ." 1 John 4:18

Mastering Ourselves

Many people who abuse chemicals are urged by friends and relatives to use "will power" or "resist temptation." It is never very clear as to what they mean by this, but the addicted person numbly nods his head and agrees with them. It's a common misconception that we should be masters of our own souls.

But it is not until we truly realize that we don't know how to be masters, that we can progress. There is only one Master who has the wisdom and knowledge to guide our souls. If we ourselves were capable of being masters of our souls, how did we end up here in the first place? Have I turned my life and my will over?

May my soul be guided by the only Master that truly knows what is best for me.

.......Hazeldon literature

Why am I angry?

When I find myself angry at some person, place, thing, or situation I need to look at letting go of the anger. When the anger lingers to the point where it begins to cloud my thinking and affect my attitudes and behaviors toward others I now have resentment. Now those of you that know me understand that I am a 2 syllable guy so this resentment business is a serious matter. 

When I get resentful, I am re sending the same thought through my mind over and over. This is not a good thing because my mind will twist that thought to stretch the perceived wrong done me and minimize my part every time. Before long my mind will convince me that I am blameless, a victim, and worthy of others pity! Talk about insanity!

My solution is to get outside of my own perceptions and thoughts. Obviously I can’t fix my own mind with my own mind so I need to get perspective and balance. I look at my part in the matter. Where did I contribute to the situation and what do I need to look at in me to change? I also need to make myself accept that person, place, thing, or situation exactly as it is for the moment. If it is a person, then I need to ask God’s help immediately to forgive them. After I pray I immediately turn my thought toward helping someone else. Before long, the resentment is gone and I am feeling like myself again.

Friends, we live in this world and it’s full of people, places, and things that are always in collision with our wants and desires. Obviously we are going to be let down and disappointed quite often if we expect perfection all the time. It’s how we handle our attitudes and behaviors in these trying times that determine our happiness and acceptance of these matters.

Please remember we are God’s kids and only here on Earth for a short time. 

Please ask yourself….are you still a human being seeking a spiritual experience… or are you now a spiritual being having a human experience?!?

Matthew 6:14-15 “… if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

"It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile."
Alcoholics Anonymous, How It Works, pg. 66

"T.H.I.N.K" before you speak!

T.H.I.N.K. before you speak

I have spent this year working on improving my words and actions. My goal has been to RESPOND instead of REACT to situations and conversations. I have a lot more to learn on this and thanks to God, a life time to make it a habit!
The short version is that I need to be positive and uplifting with my words, even when I am pointing out a negative, using discipline, or correcting something that needs changed.
Please consider this suggestion; it will help you present your words and ideas in a positive manner.

"T.H.I.N.K" before you speak!

"T" stands for True. Before you speak, make sure that what you're saying is true. Don't mistake spiritual discernment for opinion, innuendo, slander, or gossip.
"H" stands for Helpful. Ask yourself if the words you're offering are helpful. Don't judge, but seek to build up an individual rather than tearing them down. Remember that what goes around comes around!
"I" stands for Inspiring. Be uplifting and positive with your words. Genuine encouragement can help to point others toward Christ, His love, and restoration.
"N" stands for Necessary. Don't be a fault-finder regarding matters of little importance. Ask yourself if it's really necessary to take action and what's at stake. This world is full of negativity. How can our words make a positive and impactful difference?
"K" stands for Kind. Be kind and humble in your approach. We need to “remove the plank from our eyes before addressing the specks we see in others”. Matthew 7:5 This means that we must “clean our side of the street” before addressing the faults of others. Big Book pg 77

Dear friends, please guard your words and actions. Please make sure that what is coming from your mouth is God centered, bathed in humility and will cover the receiver with grace and kindness!  Think before you speak!

“... with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love....”

--Ephesians 4:2

“The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.

                                                    page 83 Big Book